This week I co-hosted a Wellness Wednesday event at a local French bistro with a nutritionist to encourage local neighborhoods to get healthy together. We want to foster people to “Create a Life You Love” and I discussed tips for happier, healthier relationships with oneself and with your partner. It was a great time & I got some good feedback so I wanted to share with you these tips I shared in case you weren’t able to attend. Feel free to share which tips you liked or even some of your own in the comments below!
Tips to Happier, Healthier Relationships:
-Take time to take care of you. Set aside time to do things that bring joy to your life and that fill you up with energy. Ask yourself what makes you feel good, and then go do that regularly! This also allows you to have things to bring into conversation with your significant other when you’re together.
-Take time to enjoy your relationship. Life gets busy and often spending quality time together gets put on hold. Schedule date nights out (and date nights in) several times a month and don’t let your to-do lists interfere during those times.
-Catch your partner doing something right. Tell your partner when they do something you like, express gratitude for them and do it often! We all love being praised, don’t assume that the other person already knows you appreciate them.
-If you feel bad about your body, try sleeping naked. There’s something very different that happens under the covers when skin touches skin and you can truly feel each other. The simplicity of entwined legs or a brush of a limb can keep you connected and more intimate.
-Men are sensitive in the bedroom too. It doesn’t feel good being told that you’re not doing something “right” and the last place anyone wants to hear those words are in the bedroom. Instead of saying what you don’t like, tell your partner what you do like, building communication and ensuring that your relationship is more pleasurable.
-Stop fighting about sex and have sex already. Instead of arguing about when to have sex, who’s initiating more or why you aren’t having sex often enough, just have sex. Relationships are about compromising and sex is no different. He likes to have sex first thing in the morning & you prefer late at night? Get up 30 minutes early and surprise him with morning sex! Don’t get caught up in controlling the whens, whys & hows of sex and simply think about the pleasure. If it means you’ll go to bed 20 minutes later, what’s the big deal, especially if it means you are feeling satisfied and closer in your relationship?
Sexual satisfaction is important to a lasting and fulfilling relationship. You deserve it, and so does your partner.
I am a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist practicing in the Lake Norman area of North Carolina. I enjoy working with people on improving their lives, relationships and feeling all around more mentally healthy.
Michelle A Coomes MA, LMFT 704-237-0814